Desperately seeking comfort in Gabon

There’s an egalitarianism stalking the opening stages of the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations.

Just when I was starting to think that my hotel was not exactly the value for money that had been promulgated, I got wind of the fact that the Zambians were so disgusted with their hotel that they’d left and found alternative accommodation in Bata.

Côte d’Ivoire too had grumbled and so had Burkina Faso over in Malabo.

I knew I was bathing in the air du temps when a Ghanaian snatch squad turned up at my hotel to inspect the facilities.

Coach Goran Stevanovac as well as the players Asamoah Gyan and John Mensah went to look at the suites, the swimming pool and dining areas.

The snatch squad stayed for around 20 minutes. Players posed with the thrilled hotel staff and Gyan looked every inch the star striker.

Dossier: Africa Cup of Nations 2012

Such is his confidence in fact that he has had the number 3 shaved onto the side of his head.

This is clearly what happens when you go on loan from Premier League Sunderland to play in the Middle East at Al-Ain.

The cash must affect your head. Because it can’t be the heat. Or maybe the sweltering conditions have addled his mind after a year or so of the cold north-east of England.

There aren’t many things I’m certain of but I’d swear blind that he wouldn’t have tried such a hair style stunt if he were still plying his trade in England .

He would be slaughtered.

And really so should the organisers of this event for proffering hotels and stadiums which don’t fulfill their prospectuses.

Ultimately the Ghanaians couldn’t relocate to my hotel because there wasn’t enough room. They’re staying put. And so am I.

But I can understand why some players in the fancied teams perform so abjectly so often.

They miss their fluffy duvets.